Red Flags in Online Dating: How to Spot and Avoid Toxic People

One of the biggest warning signs in online dating is when someone consistently avoids meeting in real life. If they keep making excuses like being “too busy,” “always traveling,” or “not ready yet,” this often indicates something suspicious. They may not be who they claim to be, they might be leading a double life, or they simply enjoy the validation of online attention without any real intention of taking things further.

Even more concerning is when they refuse to video call. In today’s digital world, a simple FaceTime or Zoom call is an easy way to confirm someone’s identity. If they resist, delay, or make excuses like “my camera is broken,” there’s a high chance they are hiding something—whether it’s their appearance, their identity, or their true intentions.

What to do: Set a reasonable timeline for meeting or video chatting. If they keep avoiding it, this is a clear sign to move on.

A well-crafted dating profile is normal, but if someone’s profile looks too flawless, it might be fake. If their photos look like professional model shots, if they claim to be ultra-successful but give no details, or if their description feels overly generic (e.g., “I love traveling, adventure, and making people laugh”), they might be lying.

Scammers and catfishers often use stolen photos from Instagram models or stock images to create a false identity. Their goal is to attract as many matches as possible, gain trust quickly, and often manipulate people emotionally or financially.

What to do: Do a reverse image search on their photos to see if they appear elsewhere. If their story feels inconsistent or too vague, ask specific questions. Genuine people will have real, detailed answers about their lives.

Love-bombing is a common manipulative tactic in online dating. If someone starts calling you “baby,” “love,” or their “soulmate” within days of chatting, this is a major red flag. Healthy relationships develop naturally over time, but manipulators often use exaggerated affection to create a false sense of emotional connection.

They might tell you, “I’ve never felt this way before,” or “I think we’re meant to be together,” even before meeting you in person. This kind of behavior is often designed to make you emotionally dependent on them.

What to do: Stay grounded and remind yourself that genuine relationships take time. If someone is rushing emotional intimacy, slow things down and observe how they react. If they become upset or try to pressure you, that’s a warning sign.

One of the biggest and most obvious scams in online dating is when someone asks for money. This can take many forms:

• They claim to have a family emergency and need financial help.
• They ask for money for a plane ticket to visit you.
• They need “a little help” covering rent, hospital bills, or a business investment.

Scammers are skilled at creating emotional stories that make you feel guilty or responsible. They may even try to send you a fake check and ask you to forward money elsewhere. If someone you’ve never met in person asks for money, it’s always a scam.

Another form of manipulation is when someone asks for personal information, such as your home address, workplace, or even banking details. They might say they need it for “trust” or “security,” but in reality, this is a major red flag.

What to do: Never send money or personal details to anyone you haven’t met in real life. If someone pressures you, block and report them immediately.

Jealousy in small amounts can be normal, but if someone you’ve just met online starts displaying possessive behavior, take it as a serious warning. They may ask where you are at all times, get upset when you talk to other people, or even try to control who you interact with on social media.

This behavior can quickly escalate into emotional abuse. In extreme cases, they might pressure you into cutting off friends or family, making you feel guilty for having a life outside of them.

What to do: Healthy relationships are built on trust and respect. If someone is overly possessive before even meeting you in person, imagine how much worse it could get later. Walk away early.

Some people will text or chat with you consistently, then suddenly disappear for days or weeks without explanation—only to come back later as if nothing happened. This behavior, known as breadcrumbing, is a sign they are keeping you as an option rather than a priority.

These individuals often thrive on attention but don’t want commitment. They keep you interested just enough so you don’t completely move on, but they are never truly present in the relationship.

What to do: If someone repeatedly ghosts and returns, don’t waste your energy. Focus on people who value consistency and real effort.

It’s normal for people to mention past relationships, but if someone constantly brings up their ex—whether it’s complaints, comparisons, or unresolved emotions—this is a major red flag.

If they say things like, “My ex was crazy,” or “I’ve been hurt so much,” they may still be emotionally attached to their past. Even worse, they might be using online dating as a way to seek validation rather than genuinely connect with someone new.

What to do: Pay attention to how they speak about their past. A healthy person will acknowledge their history without obsessing over it.